Thursday, June 10, 2010

to my loves @ #rambunctiousdonkeyproductions

people are fake. this we all know by now. ESPECIALLY as college students. & ESPECIALLY here at baylor. today i came across a quote that caused a revelation within me & it said something to the effect of "do not ask of those that ask alot of you, there is a reason they are asking"... which, to me, translates to "don't expect much from ppl who only come at you asking... they have nothing for you"... wow... look out for a poem soon *insert use me by bill withers...
anywho, a lot of people claim to be my "friends". but people lie. daily. like look you in the eye & smile. & lie. i'm the type of person that loves hard. unconsciously. like i can't help it. if i see you need something & i have it, it's yours. but there's just something about people that only take from you... sometimes it's hard to detect unless you've been in a situation like that before. & we won't even get into that... today. but i recently came across some heifers in this last semester of my sophomore year that changed the game for me. in my life, i've noticed that when God wants to lead me to something better, he shows me two contrasting ideas or parties or types of people. like he literally took me THROUGH a ratchet friendship that absolutely was NOT what i thought it was to get me TO these people that changed the game for me. He allowed me to observe these two groups of people, compare & contrast on my own, & then make my decision. because after awhile all super heroes must retire; you can't play capt. save a hoe/ be everything to everybody/ give everybody the benefit of the doubt for long before it eats away at you & changes you personally. & this amuses me now, but my loves at #rambunctiousdonkeyproductions literally snatched me from the brink of ratchetness & saved my effing life lol is it an oxymoron that the realest people i've ever met aren't even from this planet???
i've moved around a little bit in life. i come from a military family so i've had my share of who's the new kid moments & things like that. & in those moments you don't really think about it when someone asks you to play with them or sit with them at a lunch or whatever we do these days to get friends. revelation: you can be alone without being lonely. be selective about who you choose to surround yourself with. especially in new places. because people who don't know you personally will mesh you right along with whoever you latch onto. & maybe it's just me, but i think it's the people that i don't really remember meeting, the ones that i just kinda looked up & realized what a good friend they were, those people have proven to be the ones i really call "friends", of course with a few exceptions. those people who didn't swoop down like vultures immediately trying to capture me, those people...
i don't really recall when i became "friends" with amanda or sam or princess or keyah... i just remember looking up & i was kickin it at a bbq with sam & her bro or trying to figure out how she got in my house :) i remember looking up & keyah was curled up next to me on a couch sleeping or jiggin next to me at one of rob's shindigs :) i remember looking up & seeing princess half sleep at the sonic or pulling allnighters searching for cheap hotels :) i remember looking up & i was buyin up all the snacks at wal mart with amanda or yelling BALLOONS as randomly as gucci yells BURRR :)
i just remember these random realizations that i had real "friends" in these people. with seemingly no effort at all. i don't know where they came from. like literally. princess watches korean dramas... ??? sam's in love with voguing... ??? amanda lives daily off of pure cane sugar... ??? keyah eats like me & stays weighin a buck oh five... ??? who are these people??? lol clearly i'm the most normal one here.
so in closing this amalgamation of ramblings:
amanda :: keep being the sweetest thing i've ever known. you're loyal to a fault. until someone does you wrong, then you cut like a beautiful knife. stay that way. people will keep tryna eff with you because they take your kindness for weakness but do not warn them. they'll find out that that's just not the case on their own :)
samskii :: thank you for showing me your own personal brand of crazy lol you're hardheaded kid; you hate depending on anyone outside of yourself because people have proved their jankiness to you. time & time again people have been like nails in your tires causing slow, audible leaks. people mistake your big beautiful eyes for naivety but you always manage to show them otherwise. keep doin you PLEASE. & know i would get grazed by a bullet any day for you bro :)
prince :: you drunk ainey you lol you're another brand of crazy yourself. you helped me realize that there is indeed life on other planets & you came all the way down here just to kick it with us. how privileged we are lol never bite your tongue lil mama. as a poet or as a "person". your words break hearts, literally & poetically; NEVER turn down a chance to share either of these words :)
& lastly lil mama keyah :: you don't eveeeen go heeere :( but in that short time you've become like a smaller sister type figure lol you've been through a lot bro... for absolutely no reason bro... but you never backed down & you stood strong. you never got down with the dogs. & for that i commend you. keep doing you. & never feel the need to explain yourself: haters won't believe you & those that love you already understand. you & amanda, remember that y'all always have a place at #rambunctiousdonkeyproductions wherever in the world yall may be, ol janky houston or otherwise :)
anywho! yeeeah lol i think that was a pretty good official second blog post. it looks kinda long tho... but it's all from the heart! which yall know, doesn't come out too often. but real recognize real, & that's what yall are to me. & after dealing so much with all the fakeness & lies & facades, i feel like the real ones needed to be recognized. for yalls exemplary realness in spite of pressure to succumb to the world's system of effortless fakeness. i, khristina ruff [yeah i said it!], hereby recognize yall as real "friends", on this day thursday the 10th of june in the year of our Lord 2010. #superofficial! #giggetygiggetygiggety!
but on some real verbiage lol yall know i love you Krazy Kidds & i would gladly take a bullet grazing for any one of yall! but just once! yall know im light skinned...

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