I remember when I loved you
I remember when the sun refused to rise until the sound of your good morning woke the light behind my eyes
& it was easy…
easy like that song that says that Sunday mornings are easy
easy like these metaphors & similes make understanding easy
easy like… like rocket science easy
it was easy…
as easy as trying to pass a three cord rope through the eye of a needle easy
you were the moon before 1969 & no matter how carefully I aimed to please you, I always landed among the peasant stars or in the never ending black hole of your unwarranted anger
… & that shuttle never missed its destination
& so many times I was stuck in this here space station trying to decipher the longitudes & latitudes of where exactly I went wrong because according to your navigations, the logistical errors made were never your own.
I was both the navigator AND the driver, knees on the wheel, map fully unfolded spread across the dash thinking that love was our destination when it was merely the journey in between our together departure and our separate arrival.
… I guess not everyone is privy to the knowledge of things to come
… they say in a relationship: he who cares the least has the most control and so, here I was thinking that I was in command when all along you were in the captain’s chair withholding from me the coordinates of our final destination
you said that it was killing you too but why I am I looking at one lone corpse when I swear there was supposed to be two?!?
… I mean really…
what kind of girl do you take me for?
You hole your heart up in this emergency capsule ever ready to eject itself from the situation should it appear too good to be true but for me baby you were my truth
& maybe just thinking you know the truth will set you free because I could have sworn you loved me & at one point that assumption was all I needed to remain on cloud nine
but I guess… ignorance is bliss
because real truth hits heavy handed like a brass knuckled bloodied up fist
& I’d say I’m pretty light skinned cause I can’t handle too much more truth before others start to see that I am becoming
a bag lady
knapsacks and backpacks and bookbags full of your heavy handed brass knuckled bloodied up
& I am tired of bearing the weight
of a useless
so I sit
easing slowly into this empty bus seat
& I reminisce of better days
when love was new
& I remember when I loved you
when the sun refused to rise until the sound of your good morning woke the light behind my eyes
… & it was easy