Thursday, January 6, 2011

a distraction

Can I play you something?

I know you don’t have time, though, you’ve got a million other things to do that you consider far better, more productive undertakings
more important things to sweat over & sprout gray hairs worrying about
you don’t really seem like the type to fall for pretty words & vain repetitions
but poetry is different
this metronome snare & heartbreak bass’ll make you bob your head instead of hang it
if only for the moment-- sometimes it’s okay to be distracted for a few minutes

I know you’re so busy
too busy for me, but i heard this song & it reminded me of you--  I heard your smile in it, heard your heart’s music in the melody
& I’m just hoping I can change your mind
listen for a while & I’m hoping I can change the way that you smile
right now it looks as if only your mouth knows, like he alone got the memo that we should be happy even though
we should still glow in spite of this dim aura of melancholy-- I got a song that’ll make your teeth stop keepin secrets from your eyes &  heart
make ‘em let  your heavy spirit in on the corny joke he heard the other day

I know you’re content with that fraction of joy
but baby I’m selfish
I need your smile more than you do
believe it or not, you & me ain’t so different
I got a million worries makin my throat swell, a thick & humid air in my chest & a constricting of muscles every time I go to inhale, to confess
but the priest is never there when I go
I guess maybe he’s on lunch
though I go quite often
I wish there were someone else to help me repent but who do I pray to when no one has
the decency.
the heart.
the fuggin sense of urgency to take my hand off the detonator
there’s a time bomb on my chest set to God knows when so when I smile it’s more like a grimace
I cringe because it hurts to smile-- baby I need your light more than you’ll ever know
so please listen to my song-- let it take you back to better days when a smile was as easy as breathing is supposed to be

reality is spiraling all around me
so self-regarding martyr that I am,
I’ll ask you one more time—
I need to hear your smile. to drown out this incessant
the quiet of death’s heart is so annoying these days
so please…

can I play you something?

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